Holly Gleason Bonnaroo death #vivaroo Bonnaroo 2015 Guy Clark Prada Dada The Zelda Chronicles Zelda pet loss Alex Bevan Emmylou Harris Lee Ann Womack the Wonderspaniel Aerosmith Ali Berlow Bruce Springsteen Dwight Yoakam John Oates Kenny Chesney Matraca Berg Patty Loveless Vince Gill Andy Langer Cleveland Dan Baird Dawes disco Donna Summer Earl Scruggs Earth Wind & Fire Ed Helms James Taylor Jim James Johnny Cash Lou Reed Lyle Lovett Michael Stanley Mumford & Sons Music pop music punk Reggie Watts Rita Houston Rodney Crowell Ronnie Dunn Sam Bush Steve Popovich Tim McGraw Tom Petty Townes Van Zandt WFUV Willie Nelson " THE LITTLE PRINCE "The Voice 27 Club 9/11 addiction Akron Allen Brown Allison Krauss Allman Brothers Almost Famous Americana Amy Winehouse Andy Parker Anna Nicole Smith Antoine de Saint-Exupery Ashley Capps Atlanta Rhythm Section Authenticity Bangles Beatles BeeGees Belle & Sebastian Big K.R.I.T. Bill Bentley Bill Johnson Billy idol Black Prairie bluegrass Bluegrass Situation Bob Dylan Bob Seger Brenwtood Vets Britney Spears Buddy & Julie Miller C. Orrico Cameron Crowe Carnival Music Cat Powers Catherine Deneuve CBGBs Celebrity Culture Charlie Sexton Chris Mad Dog Russo Chris Stapleton Chris Whitley Christopher Hanna Clash Clive Davis Cobain cowpunk Cultural Icons Cyrinda Fox Dan Einstein Dan Fogelberg Dan Tyminski D'Angelo Danny Joe Brown Danny Morrison David Bowie David Byrne Dazz Band death of a pet Del McCoury Del McCoury Band Dennis Kucinich Dick Clark Dignity Dolly Parton Doobies Doug Dillard driving Dylan Eddie Montgomery Elle King EMI Music ESQUIRE facing the inevitable Fame Whores father fathers & daughters Feank Yankovic Fellini feminism film Flatt + Scruggs Foals Forest Hills Stadium Frank Sinatra Funk Brothers Garth Brooks Gary Stewart Gary W Clark Gary Wells George Harrison George Jones George Strait Gerald LeVert Gil Scott-Heron Glenn O'Brien golf Grammy Awards Grammy mourning grief Guitar Town Guster heartland hippies HITS Hot Chelle Rae Hozier I Will Always Love You iconic death integrity Jack Johnson Jackson Browne James Brown janet jackson Jason Isbell Jeff Bates Jeff Hanna Jewly Hight Jim Halsey Jimmy Jam Jimmy Webb Joan Didion Joe Diffie Joe Ely John Bassette John Fullbright John Hiatt John Hobbs John Leland John Prine Joni Mitchell Joplin Kacey Musgraves Keith Knudsen Ken Weinstein Kentucky Headhunters KKen Weinstein Levon Helm Life Lilly Pulitzer loss Marlene Dietrich Marshall Chapman Mary Chapin Carpenter Matt and Kim Meatloaf Merle Haggard Midway Midwest moonshiners Morrison mourning music festivals Music Row My Friend Bob My Morning Jacket Nas Nathan Bell Nei Young nihilism in pop music Nile Rodgers Nitty Gritty Dirt Band Of Monsters and Men old huard Nashville Palm Beach Parliament Funkedelic passion Patsi Bale Cox Patsi Cox Patti Davis Paul McCartney Paul William Phil Walden Philip Bailey places polka pop culture Preservation Hall Jazz Band press conferences Prince Purple Rain Radnor Lake Ramones Ray Price Rayland Baxter Reeves Gabrels Retirement Rhiannon Giddens Richard Corliss Richard Gehr Richard Pryor Robin Gibb Rock & Soul Superjam Rust Belt Ryan Miller Sarah Godinez scenes Scooter Caruso sex Sherman Halsey Shiela E smells Solange Knowles songs songwriiter songwriter spoiled rock stars Springsteen Steve Earle Steven Tyler Stevie Nicks Stevie Ray Vaughn Stevie Wonder stinky goodness Sturgill Simpson Tammy Wynette Tammy Wynnette Tangiers Tears for Fears Terry Lewis THE ART OF RACING IN THE RAIN The Bluegrass Situation The Bodyguard The Dreaming Fields the Hermit Club the Kentucky Headhunters the Players the Shaker Heights Country Club the things that matter the wonder spaniel thoughts Tim Hensley TIME Magazine Tin Machine Trixie Whitley University of Miami untimely death Verdine White Village Voice Waffle House Waylon Jennings Wendy Pearl Whitney Houston Whitney Houston death Wilco Wonderspaniel Wu Tang Clan WVUM Ziggy Stardust

Entries in thoughts (1)


exhaling in the pummeling rain on a1a

spent the tail end of yesterday afternoon playing chicken staring down a phone message from my doctor's office WHY would they be calling on monday when they told me there would be no information until wednesday unless the news was so ragingly, painfully bad that there was no point finishing germination? having finally gotten some sleep all day yesterday i was groggy from something other than the pain medication and i found the fear running through my veins again like a train through the mountains rolling with the momentum of a downhill run, rolling with the power of uphill locomotion my heart racing like a rabbit on the discovery channel, about to be dinner for some fanged beast of prey and knowing the observers weren't going to intercede so i went to the grocery store and there in the publix, between the mojo criollo + the fresh fruit, the crunchy peanut butter and the spanish saffron looking way into the "i don't have a problem" DTs it occurred to me (eek): not calling doesn't outrun the outcome bad news is still bad stuff, even if you refuse to let them tell you pick up the phone, stupid, and dial and so i did... there along the ocean highway with the rain coming down sideways, the malibu flashing and crawling my heart pounding harder than tommy lee in motley crue's most rocking days terrified and driving and holding for dr cooper's nurse the poor nurse forced to tell me to get on a plane because, you know, i must be amputated from the waist up "you're cancer free..." WHAT? "your tests are back... cancer and pre-cancer free" I AM? "yes, you have a pappiloma...and dr cooper can explain that when you come in for your follow-up visit." But...I'm...okay? "perfect." and that's when the crying started. sobbing. bawling. then crying all by itself. in classic holly fashion, though, i also threw up... too much adrenalin with nowhere to go so it created its own exit path and then i cried some more relief. joy. surprise. it was all there. everything i was sure i wouldn't be feeling at the end of the phone call terrified that if i told myself it was nothing, fate would not be amused that i wasn't taking this situation seriously and ZOT the hell out of me terrified enough that i wouldnt consider the possibities for fear of making it real fate being cranky with my lack of faith and ZOTTING the hell out of me so somewhere in a reality akin to a green grape suspended in red jello where denial didn't exactly run rampant, nor fatality frolic like a colt in pastures of green i tried to be stoic, gargle with terror and act as if i don't know how i did really i do know that the people i told made me feel better and everyone who responded to the e-mail were angels with wings on their fingers thank you in ways you can't imagine, for things you wouldn't consider fear of being erased is as bad as the fear of pain i'd like to believe that a bad thing wouldn't make people sidestep me the way we sometimes do street people when we know we can't change their fate people are our greatest strength for just when i was sure i wasn't going to make it to wednesday came this outpouring of strength and hope and love it hopefully wasn't too taxing for you but a huge deal for me and i thank you for it know how powerful little things can be give them whenever you can because my doctor was aggressive about something that was potentially life-threatening -- the very same course of action andre agassi's 30 year old sister took + ended up being positive, but now back in step and shape with a perfect recovery rolling out before her) and know somewhere amongst the packing boxes, i am laughing a laugh of the freaked and now settling that awkward sound that means i have seen experienced something bad but it looks like all is okay because that's where i am this morning painfully grateful both for the results and you and eddie montgomery who let me know to let people reach back a-men and then some it ain't an aerosmith review, but to me -- i PROMISE -- it's every bit as exhilerating! ps: the doctor's office had told me it was tuesday or wednesday because if the results had been dodgy, they'd have wanted to run them twice and because my doctor's speaking at a medical conference and wouldn't have been able to make the double-checked call until then and wisely, he didn't think it was something he should palm off on an assistant talk about sigh and the some -- -- Holly Gleason

Click to read more ...